Well, I haven’t seen Cradle 2 the Grave yet, but have heard similar things; that it’s pretty much generic action movie.

Kiss of the Dragon was maybe a little too dark for Jet, and The One was cool in that you could see different fighting styles pretty clearly, but again the actual story kinda sucked. Many of his HK movies also sucked, by the way; it’s just that we tend to remember the good ones. Still, he’s had a higher percentage of good movies than say Jackie Chan (I swear half of Jackie’s movies, especially the 70s and 80s ones, totally blew).

The thing I’ve noticed about all Jet’s movies so far… he’s totally prudish. Have we seen even one on-screen kiss? He doesn’t get it on with Bridget Fonda, his wife dies in The One, Aaliyah and him also don’t end up together. It’s like he’s afraid to “cheat” on his real-life wife or something… And as soon as he got to the US, it seems like his one emotion is grim resolution. I suppose his care-free days of Fong Sai-yuk are over (he’s probably too old to be depicting an innocent laid-back guy), but he’s got to be able to act more than just stoic hero.

A great website on Jet Li, by the way, is his official Jet Li website.

In gaming news, I played the Freelancer demo recently. Pretty fun, but not sure it’s deep enough for me to want to buy it. Maaaybe multiplayer would be cool… I’ve gotten my hands on Master of Orion 3 and Command and Conquer: Generals and will check those out soon, maybe with Ben. I hope to get Splinter Cell and Sim City 4 soon too. Too many games, too little money, too little time. If any of you get the chance, Hitman 2 is an excellent game.

For all your gaming review needs, go to GameTab.

Yeah, Brandon. I have to agree with you. Jet has had less than stellar movies during his US career. I’ve already crapped all over “Black Mask,” but there have been some other (lesser) disappointments. For example, “Romeo Must Die.” I pretty much put “R.M.D.” in the same category as “The Replacement Killers,” i.e., a showy, action-driven vehicle for bringing a foreign talent to US movie screens.

I remember how excited I was to catch Chow Yun Fat in that movie, but the film just lacked something that John Woo captured so perfectly in classics like “Hard Boiled” and “The Killer.” I think that the US versions are too stylized and wind up looking more like a music video than a movie. Not a big leap because the “The Replacement Killers” was the first movie directed by Antoine Fuqua, who was otherwise known for producing rap videos. (BTW: it isn’t just Hong Kong action stars that get these guys. “Charlie’s Angels” was also directed by a music video graduate- the oddly named “McG“.)

We all breathed a sigh of relief that Jet wasn’t treated too badly in “Lethal Weapon 4,” but sadly, things haven’t really improved for him since then. Part of the problem is that the movie houses think they need to team him (or other guys like Chow and Jackie Chan) up with some big name US star: Mira Sorvino, Mark Wahlberg, Jodie Foster, Aaliyah, Owen Wilson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mel Gibson, DMX, etc.

Instead, they should look to find a script and storyline that fits the skills and talents of the actor. I thought that the studios would have learned more from the success of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” One can only hope…

This is hilarious. Arvydas is a diamond in the rough.

Saw it. Poor Jet Li. He kicked ass as always, but they need to have somebody actually write a movie for him, or just call it UFC. It was amusing at times, even funny, but a predictable flop in terms of story and acting. Too bad.

I had Taco Bell for the first time in like a year or something a night ago. How the hell did I ever eat that crap with such abandon? Schrag, how did we eat 7-Eleven chilli dogs, ever? I saw one of those things on a stormy night up here in Seattle as I was grabbing some gas from a stop and rob… It looked like it had about 10 to 15 years on me and spent too much time sitting in the surf on a sunny beach somewhere… Somewhere awful.

Greetings. My desire to post decreases exponentially with the number of war-related posts. Today’s Boston Herald ran a cover picture of the “terror leader” that was captured over the weekend. Some clown said that “it was equal to the liberation of Paris in the Second World War.” What? Really? I think that you should always leave a few bigger military triumphs to use in future metaphors. I also think that you should not compare a third-world-wide manhunt for a small group of insane people who frequent caves to the Second World War. It’s just sad for everybody.

IVC went 3-0 (6-1 games) this weekend without our best player (the ridiculous Yann). We used another line-up but were able to take down Tufts, BU, and WPI. We brought only six people, requiring the middles to play all the way around, something we hadn’t done yet this year. It was fun. We are currently ranked seventh in Division II for NIRSA Nationals. Not sure if I/we will go or not…

I hate to bring up the movie again, but really, “Kung Pao: Legend of the Fist” is funnier than “Dude Where’s My Car?” Yeah, I thought “Dude…” was good for a laugh, but it never really aimed much higher than convincing people to see it because Ashton Kutcher was in it. According to Hollywood’s fuzzy math:

Ashton Kutcher = $$

See “Just Married” or “That 70’s Show” for a proof of the equation. (Then go and see this and be AFRAID.) I remember a time when we all lived in Portland and went to see movies at every opportunity. Sure the Snake can talk trash about “stupid” movies that he hasn’t seen, but I just want to remind everyone that we were first in line to see Jet Li’s “Black Mask.” That is a movie that sucked in every possible way- especially the over-dubbing and the lame Ozzy Ozbourne look-alike bad guy. It won’t be a good movie just because you put Jet Li in it, just like it won’t be a bad movie just because it’s a schlock comedy (see the Naked Gun series, the Pink Panther series, Fletch, etc.). Enough said.

BTW: Mark how is the Special Edition of Akira? I never got to read the end of the comic (because of delays due to re-writing the ending for the third time), but it’s clear how vastly different the movie is from the comic. Not sure if I like it as much… Anyway…

I musta missed Kung Pow…but then again I didn’t wind up seeing “Dude, Where’s my car?” either which I think Chris thoroughly enjoyed. If I had to choose, well let’s just say…”DUDE! SWEET!!”.

Regarding Mark’s questions, I think there’s nothing wrong with working on any given day as long as: A) you are really into what you are doing or B) there is something you are looking forward to in the forseeable future which working will help you to attain. A sufficient, but less satisfying reason to work hard is the prospect of being thoroughly, publicly embarassed in the very near future if you don’t get something done. For more on this, see: graduate school. From my point of view, being able to set your own hours is the biggest factor. Getting up earlier than you want sucks. I also think that my work/vacation cycle is longer than average. Most people like the work five days/play two days thing (of course most have no choice)…I tend to like the work all the time for 1-2 months and then relax for several days/a week. Your mileage may vary. It’s all about concrete goals…

As far as categories go… is there a limit? Why do we need to add more? I’m just not sure what their big significance is…I suppose you can filter by categories? Anyhow, I guess a movies category is kind of on par with the music category…or maybe they can be merged into one.

By the way Chris, way to talk about my references to my manhood and then go on and on about your “tree” … thinly veiled ….

Schrag, I think that you’ve just maxed out the number of vague references to your manhood in the blog. A-ight with you?

If there’s one thing that I hate more than working on Saturday, it’s working on Sunday. I think that Mark started this week off right by talking about the days of the week and motivation… No one stepped up to the challenge, but I’m going to have to agree. Of course now, that post and everything else from the past week will be in the archives, and no one will see them (including Schrag’s classic recipe and bad double entendre). Just like the old “tree falling in the woods” riddle- but in blog form.

Whatever.

Have any of you seen “Kung Pao: Enter the Fist“? It is actually kind of funny. I guess I had some pretty low expectations about it, so it was easy enough to laugh during the really stupid parts. The way they inserted him into the original 1970’s film was pretty cool, and I think that they should have done a lot more with those scenes, instead of inserting an entire battle between him and a computer-generated cow. That was tedious and predictable compared to the product placement gags they did with Taco Bell and Bowflex. I guess you have to draw the obvious conclusions between it and “What’s up, Tiger Lilly?“, but really, the visual comedy adds a lot more than just overdubbing random one-liners and noises. It’s worth seeing, especially if you basically get the movie free when you purchase Big Trouble in Little China. That movie is the bomb.

For your information George, my “long ass post” is always UP. < --- Don't do it.

Thanks for the big help, B-Diddy… are you trying to move in on Mark’s compu-guru status? Anyhow, I’ve deleted the log version. Hey George, what are you going to be doing now? Are you living in Portland for the foreseeable future?

Robin, good stuff on the cookies, but I must say as a scientist that your “cook for exactly seven minutes” lacks an error bar. My cookie recipe would go something like:

2.0 +/- 0.3 cups flour, 10 +/- 2 decacups of sugar, 365 +/- [0.3,0.4] drams of water. Cook at 542 +/- 14 Kelvin for 7 +/- 2 minutes or until brown +/- pink. Spit out 0.57 +/- 0.12 seconds after eating. Serves 5 +/- 1.

see? that’s how to get people to use your recipe!! But you get a 10 for the picture.

Make-the-Pain-Go-Away Cookies

I’ve adapted this recipe, originally called Chocolate Fudge-Candy Cookies, from Maida Heatter’s Cookies. Instructions are pretty much verbatim. The recipe was already one of the easiest and richest I’ve used, but I decided it needed an optional chocolate glaze, too. You know, for the kids.

12 oz semisweet chocolate chips
2 oz (1/2 stick) butter (unsalted if you want to get fancy)
1 14-oz can unsweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or some kind of hard liquor)
1 cup sifted flour
8 oz (2 ¼ cups) pecans, toasted (see note), broken or cut into large pieces (optional, really)

yield: 55 “rather small cookies”

If you have more than one cookie sheet, adjust two racks to divide the oven into thirds. If you have only one, put the top rack in the middle. Preheat to 350?F. Line cookie sheets (or equivalent) with foil shiny side up, trying not to crease it.

Place the chocolate and the butter in the top of a large double boiler or Bain-marie over warm water on moderate heat. Stir occasionally until melted and smooth. Avoid getting water in the chocolate.

Remove from the heat and wipe the hot condensation from the bottom of pan or bowl with a towel. Stir in the condensed mild and vanilla, then the flour, and lastly the pecans.

Use a rounded teaspoonful of the mixture for each cookie; pick it up with one spoon and push it off with another. Place the cookies 1-2 inches apart on the foil.

Bake two sheets at a time (if you have them), reversing the sheets top to bottom and front to back once during baking. Bake for exactly 7 minutes. The cookies will still feel soft; they will become firmer as they cool.

If you bake only one sheet at a time, reverse it front to back once during baking.

Before baking, the dough will look varnished; after baking it will have changed to the dull look of fudge candy.

If you have used a cookie sheet with only one raised rim, as you remove it from the oven, slide the foil off to cool completely. Then slide the hot cookie sheet under another piece of foil with unbaked cookies on it. If the sheet has raised rims all around, let the foil stand on the sheet until the cookies are completely cool. (Or take your chances at being burned and pull the foil off anyway.) When they have cooled, use a wide metal spatula to transfer the cookies to racks and let stand until the bottoms become dry. (If you don’t have cooling racks, the slatted top of a clean broiler pan turned upside-down works in a pinch.)

Glaze if desired.

Store with wax paper or plastic wrap between the layers.

Note: To toast pecans, place them on a shallow pan in the middle of a preheated 350? oven for 12 – 15 minutes, stirring them occasionally, until they are very hot but not until they become darker in color. They are usually done when they start to smell good. For a quick cool-down, pour them into a bowl and put them in the freezer for 2 or 3 minutes. Chop when cool enough to handle.

Chocolate Ganache Glaze to Lick off Your Fingers Post-Cookie

This is a pretty large batch. Extra may be eaten with a spoon, spread on peanut butter sandwiches, rolled into truffles, and/or smeared on croissants or good French bread.

1 cup heavy whipping cream
8 oz semisweet chocolate chips

Bring the cream to a simmer in a saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat and add chocolate all at once. Shake the pan to make sure all the chocolate is submerged in the hot liquid. Let stand 5 minutes, then whisk smooth. Leave to cool until ready to use.

To glaze cookies: After the cookies have cooled and while they are still on their cooling racks (or sheets), place foil under the racks and pour spoonfuls of ganache on each cookie. Smooth it out with the back of the spoon to coax the glaze to the edges. Some may pour off onto the foil. It may be licked off later. If the ganache has cooled too much to pour, warm it over hot water for a few minutes while stirring. Leave the cookies until the chocolate is set.

Obsessive-Compulsive Variation: Press a toasted pecan half into the still wet glaze on top of each cookie.