Charlton Heston’s Gun Taken From His Cold, Dead Hands

from The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

Ah, so they were just saving it for a headline…

Charlton Heston Dies

via The Onion

They didn’t do the obvious joke: “Now we can finally pry that rifle from his cold, dead hands.”

Charlton Heston Dies

Charlton Heston, National Rifle Association spokesman and star of The Omega Man, The Ten Commandments, and Planet Of The Apes, died Saturday at 84. What do you think?

Rodrigo Bennet,
Brick Layer
“No, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Mickey Rooney. Charlton Heston has been dead for at least five years.”

Tracy McManus,
Piano Teacher
“It must have been comforting for him to pass away peacefully in his home instead of in a MADHOUSE! A MADHOUSE!!!”

Steve DeVoto,
Network Administrator
“I send my thoughts and prayers to the Heston family. I’d also like to know when and where the funeral service is going to be held so I can send an ammunition wreath.”