I need to go out and kick a ball around… and remember how much I SUCK at it… sheesh.

Robin and I have been watching Freaks and Geeks on DVD from the library. It’s a TV show set in 1980 that lasted one season in 1999-2000 that’s about two traditionally ostracized groups of kids in high school. One group represents the stoner/smoker/hang-out-under-the-bleachers type–the Freaks. The other group are the nerdy D&D/straight-As/bad-at-sports type–the Geeks.

My brother said I should watch it and that it represented our high school experience really well. Other than being a tad 7-10 years earlier than when we went to high school and the fact that we didn’t really interact with the “freak” group (a better description might be punk and maybe nowadays goth, but I’m just pulling that out of my ass) and that I don’t think we were nearly as girl-obsessed as the guys in the show… yeah, we were geeks. But we knew that already…

Continue reading I’m a total geek as defined by Freaks and Geeks →

You know how sometimes when you are sick your head feels really heavy and you can’t move it very fast? Maybe you have a fever and sore throat and stuffy sinuses. And when you sleep it’s sort of a groggy delirium? Well, I’ve been sick for the past 4 days and just woke up from a stupor this morning which I will probably fall back into in a couple of hours… (it’s why I haven’t posted anything recently.)

I was dreaming about soccer, specifically about kicking the ball as hard as I could to get it out of our defense. And when I kicked it, it curved a bit to the right and was beautiful. Slow motion… Everything else–the players, the field–was indistinct. Just my foot and the ball’s arc.

I haven’t played soccer in any serious way for like 18 years. But now I feel like playing again… 😛 Problem is, if I start playing again, I’ll remember how much I sucked.

Here’s my list of things to do:

1. write about ethnography in an online game.. and get really nitty gritty

2. post my writings about adventure games

3. put up an annotated transcript from MC or Onyx so people can see how complex things are

4. write an article about games and coordination in games FOR gamers

I’m going to let go of my fears, instilled by academics, that I shouldn’t publish anything other than finished stuff. If you take one of these ideas and do it, that’s great! My version will be different than yours and we can share data.

I was thinking about AERA today… the American Educational Research Association’s annual meeting is in San Francisco this year. I’m not there. Just like I didn’t attend / won’t be attending the Games, Learning, Society conference, the Education Arcade conference, and GDC this year and last… I just can’t afford it. My parents live in Sunnyvale and my brother lives in San Francisco, too, so even though I would save a bundle on not having to stay in hotels, I still can’t afford it. And I got really pissed off. (Coincidentally, I was thinking about this while waiting for the bus. Someone ought to make a movie about how much thinking happens on or around buses or subways…) I mean, part of the way to get your name out there is through networking. The most valuable thing about conferences is the face time you get with colleagues. But people who are not funded and cannot afford the fees on their own are shit out of luck. We have to work that much harder through other means. While I could just buckle down and be a good boy and work with the system… I dunno… It just seems unfair.

Amazingly, someone besides me has read my blog! And I’m proud to say that David Silver himself has commented on what I wrote about regarding academia which was spurred by meeting him on the bus earlier this week… Scroll down to that post and read his comments!

Last night Robin asked why I keep playing old stuff from the 80s and early 90s when I listen to music at home. My answer was that I felt nostalgic and that the modern rock / alternative music is melancholy at heart with tons of wondering what the hell is wrong with the world and why is love so difficult… Anyway… I dunno. I mostly listen to music just for something to have in the background while working and when I want something to not pay attention to in the background it either has to be electronica with no lyrics or music that I’ve pre-screened. And since I am so out of touch with music nowadays, I basically have to pick stuff I’m familiar with… Last night I was listening to The Cure, INXS, and New Order.