Bike USA: Memorable Quotes

‘It’s ridiculous to walk that far for a stupid animal.’ – overheard in Yellowstone coming out the mouth of a middle-aged woman… what the hell was she doing in Yellowstone?

It’s such an exhilarating feeling to bike through Yellowstone and show no fear for all the freaking motor homes as they pass. The culminating experience was definitely the ride out of the East Entrance, riding 35-40 down that awesome hill, taking up the whole lane, forcing cars to obey the speed limit.


‘This grass is like high school grass.’ – Luke in Iowa during RAGBRAI

‘No, this grass is like bank grass.’ – Luke, quickly amending his statement.

‘Let’s just go over there.’ – Mark, while pointing to a city a little bit off the road in the dark outside of Valentine, NE, moments before totally wiping out due to the road turning into gravel.

‘I think I’m going to get Da Bomb.’ – Mark at a convenience store, getting his lunch which happened to be a huge red-hot burrito with a funny moniker.

‘You ugly!’ – Max’s way of telling me that someone in the near vicinity was totally, butt ugly (usually a white person, no offense).

Pho Found, Trip Over

‘Let’s just take the freakin’ train the rest of the way!’ – Mark and Max, after their first train ride.

As soon as we broke down and bummed our first ride, we had no qualms of doing it over and over again, although we only ended up doing it two more times and only when we blew a tire or something.

The inside of our tent was the site of many a killing. Bloody smears everywhere from where we smashed mosquitoes and other bugs.

Never trust a local to give you good biking directions. Half of them don’t know what a bike is.

‘Dude, that person should NOT be wearing a Superman T-shirt!’ – Mark, gawking at the largest man in the world wearing a baby-T with his midrift showing. The word ‘midrift’ automatically perks up any room, but this guy totally ruined the image for Mark.

Make sure you buy the right kind of chain for your bike. When I replaced my chain in Prineville with a new one, the two highest (as in smallest rear cogs) started skipping. I had thought that I just needed to replace the casette and had to wait until Boise to do so. It turns out that the chain that I put on sucked for my set-up. Next time I’m sticking to a name brand like Shimano or Sachs. – Mark

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