Congrats Brandon! I expect that you will be personally tapping my phone?

On a side note, I’ve decided to have a sex change and marry Ben. I thought you all should know. We talked about it at lunch today, and he agrees that it would be the best for everybody. We would like Mark to be our Best Man and George to be the Chang’s Bearer (the person who brings our wedding bowls to the grill and returns with glorious grilled goodness).

Brandon, we need a valet. Can you drive stick?

We will be registered at Pottery Barn and with the Miller Brewing Company. The Reverand Moon will join us at the stroke of midnight after the NCAA National Championship Game in New Orleans. Afterwards, Colin will be expected to cut down my hair net. Tickets are $15, available at Sam Goody on even numbered days.

Happy April Fool’s Day!